Star vs the forces naturalism
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: What if Mewni was a nudist colony? What if star remained a nudist on earth? What if Marco had a dark secret that threatened everyone he loved?
1. Chapter 1

Star vs. the forces naturalism

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Marco Diaz sighed as he sat outside the Stop & Slurp...a rain cloud literally over his head...he had not had the best of days...

…...Earlier that day...

"Why is she naked!?" Screamed a flustered Marco. Principal Skeeves shrugs. "Kid, for the money her parents gave me...she could wear roadkill for all I care! Anyway, she's your problem now!" He stated dismissively as he leaves an embarrassed Marco with the oblivious and naked Star...who was currently 'examining' the water fountain...

…...

And if that hadn't been crazy enough...

…...

"I'm a magical Princess from another Dimension/Nudist planet!" Shouted Star as she waved her wand, creating a rainbow...which immediately caught on fire...

…..

Naturally Marco immediately ran for the hills...and ran for the sanctuary that was his home...

At least...that was the hope...

…...

 **GAH!**

Screamed Marco at the sight of his naked parents. "Oh, Marco! Come meet the new foreign exchange student who's gonna be living with us! She's shown us the joy's of laser puppies and nudity!"

"What?!" Exclaimed the still naked Star. "I had no idea these were _your_ parents! I just assumed everyone on Earth had the last name "Diaz"!"

Marco said nothing...he was too busy getting zapped in the eye by one of the puppies...

…...

And just when he finally got a moments rest...

….

Marco groaned as he jumped onto his bed for an early siesta-

HEY!

Shouts Star as she jumps from her hiding spot on the ceiling to flop right on top of Marco.

Marco went crimson; he could feel everything!

"What are you doing, going for a nap? Come downstairs and party with me and your folks!" She exclaims happily.

"Star...please...I'm not in the mood...just let me be..." Pleaded Marco awkwardly.

Star frowns...then smiles. "We'll of course your not in the mood to party! You have all these hot, itchy clothes holding you back!" Exclaims Star innocently as she tries to undress him-

"What! No!" Shouts Marco as he resists. Star isn't deterred...she goes for the TICKLE ATTACK!

HA! No! HA! STOP! HA! HA! THIS IS A FORM OF ABUSE!" Shouts Marco between bouts of laughter. Star of course takes the opportunity to start taking of his clothes-

"I SAID NO!" Shouts Marco as he kicks out-

 **CRACK!**

And hits Stars wand-

 **ZAP! ZAP!**

Causing it to shoot out two spells, one that destroys Marco's room, and the other causes a mini-raincloud to form over Marco-

"I can't take this anymore! If you're moving in, I'm moving out!" Shouts Marco as he jumps out a window...right into a cactus patch...

…...

And now here he was...bumming drinks of kids like a junkie...what a life!

"Marco?" Asks the now very familiar voice of Star. Marco turns around angrily...the anger turns to shock. Star was wearing clothes!

Star causes the raincloud to dissipate. "Marco...I'm sorry about before...that wasn't okay what I did...I didn't get a choice about coming here to Earth, and you didn't get a choice about having to deal with me."

Marco's features soften...genuinely touched by this...

"If you'd give me another chance...I promise to wear clothes...but if you don't...I understand...and I'll go find a new family..."

Marco starts to feel a bit guilty...Star looked miserable wearing clothes(cute, but miserable). "Star, I-

 **GAH! MY EYES! IT BURNS!**

This is the shout of several people, Marco turns around...and immediately wishes he hadn't!

For standing there are the ugliest..and most NAKED monsters he'd ever seen. "STAR BUTTERFLY! GIVE ME YOUR WAND!"

Shouts a diminutive monster that(somehow) seemed to be the leader.

"LUDO!" Shouts Star as she tears off her clothes and runs in to fight! And Marco is quick to help! With a combination of karate skills and magic blasts...they were owning this fight!

Marco kicked Boo Fly into the wall, which was the distraction Buff Frog needed to slash him-

 **RIP!**

"Hey, I liked that shirt!" Shouted Marco annoyed as he punched him in the face while the tatters of his shirt flew between them...

 **CHOMP!**

"OW! OKAY NOT COOL!" Shouts Marco as the Giraffe monster leans down and bites him on the rear. Marco responds by twisting around and kicking him in the face, knocking him out-

 **RIP!**

Unfortunately, this action also has the downside of also getting his pants ripped off. "Oh, Come on!" Shouts an irritated Marco who's now in just his boxers.

"Gotcha!" Shouts Lobster Claws as he grabs Marco by his boxers. _Oh, I do not like where this is going._ Thinks a flustered Marco as the monster starts to lift him up-

 **ZAP!**

Rip

Thankfully, Star zaps the overgrown lobster before it could do anything...

Defeated; Ludo and his men slinked home to lick their wounds.

"That was amazing! I was amazing! You were amazing!" Exclaims Marco excited.

"Yeah. I guess we were. ...Well... I should probably go pack my bags." Said a melancholy Star as she begins to walk away-

Only for Marco to stop her! "Wait! I don't want you to go. I want you to stay with us." He says honestly.

"Really?! Hugs!" Shouts Star as she dose just that, much to Marco's embarrassment.

Suddenly, a realization occurs to Star. "Wait...do I have to wear clothes?" She asks morbidly.

Marco sighs. "Look...I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me uncomfortable...but clearly it makes you happy...so as long as you dial it down...you can do what you want."

"HOORAY! THANK YOU!" Shouts Star. Then Star takes that moment to appraise Marco's nearly naked form.

"I hate to bring this up...but I really don't get why you don't like being naked...cause what I can see is looking good!"

snap

Went the damaged elastic waistband in Marco's boxers...causing them to fall...

 _Oh...that's why..._ Thinks a flustered Star as she see's the most freakishly tiny genitals she'd ever seen...

Marco covered himself...but he knew it was too late. There was a long, awkward silence...

 _Must not laugh. Must not laugh. Must not laugh._ Star repeats this mantra as she bites her tongue...causing it to bleed...which Marco sees-

"STAR! STOP! YOU CAN LAUGH! JUST STOP BITING YOUR TONGUE! IT'S BLEEDING!" Shouts Marco concerned.

Star quickly complies. Apologizing between uncontrollable bursts of laughter, she quickly went back to Marco's house.

When she was gone...Marco looked down on himself and sighed. _To think...this is only the SECONDARY reason for me being modest..._

Thinks a depressed Marco as he thinks of the Dragon head tattoo on his right buttock...the one given to him by the Shadowkhan...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**

 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

Star vs the forces naturalism ch. 2

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 _A lake...a tire swing...the creaking...a tree falling down...cerulean eyes looking at him through the bubbling water...MARCO'S BODY ON FIRE!_

Marco gasped as he catapulted up from his bed. He looked around, his partially rebuilt room giving him some semblance of 'normality'.

Marco sighed. It was the fifth time this week he had that 'dream'. Seeing that he needed to get ready for school, he quickly put that thought aside and headed for the shower.

 _I haven't dreamed about what happened in months, why is it coming back now?_ Thought Marco as he scrubbed himself.

"MORNING MARCO!" Shouts Star as she joins him in the shower! "GAH! STAR! GET OUT!" Screams an embarrassed Marco as he quickly covered his crotch and pressed his backside against the back of the shower where she couldn't see.

Star looks at him confused. "Wha- but people always shower together on Mewni." She pointed out.

"THIS ISN'T MEWNI!" Retorted Marco annoyed.

Star sighed. "Is this because of last night?" She asked. "Because I DO feel bad at laughing at you.

Marco just groaned, he needed her out of here! Her soapy, buxomus body was causing his to...'react'. Not to mention he couldn't let her see 'it'! "Star it's fine. Really. I just-

"No, it's not fine." Interrupted Star. "Here I go around naked, telling people how great it is to be naked...and then I laugh at your nudity?...that's just not okay!"

Marco couldn't resist any longer...he'd gone stiff. Star saw this. Smiled , blushed, and stifled a giggle. "Relax Marco, ever since I became a teen...every guy around me gets 'stiff'." She tries to reassure him.

Marco again groaned, increasingly self-conscious of how little there was keeping the tattoo out of her eyesight. "That's...wonderful Star. But I really just-

Suddenly Star got really close to him...her breasts now lightly caressing his chest. "Look Marco...I know there's a lot of emphasis on 'size'...but don't listen to that! Your kind, your dependable, your smart, and you kick monster but like nobodies business! THOSE are the qualities you should be focusing on." She said sincerely.

Marco flushed at this, no girl had ever complimented him like that before! "Uh...thanks Star, Wow I-

And then Star gripped his abs. Marco eyes widened. "Uh, Star? What are you- "You also have a rocking six-pack." Babbled an oblivious Star. "And nice arms- Squeezes those -nice legs- also gives a squeeze- and of course these ." Finishes Star as she squeezes his rear.

A cold chill goes down Marco's spine...not just for the huge invasion of privacy...but because the cheek she was grabbing was the one with the tattoo...

"Yes...I really don't think you'll have anything to worry about Marco...you'll be making some girl very lucky before you know it!" Insisted Star...as she continued to squeeze...and just kept squeezing...

 _That's it! I'm making a break for it!_ Shouts Marco who immediately jumps away from the shower...and slips on a soap and falls flat on his face...

When the pain goes away, a horrified Marco realizes that his rear is now fully exposed for Star to see.

Marco braces himself for the screaming...that never comes? "Wow, Marco! Great Tattoo!" Exclaims Star amazed. And that's when it hits Marco...she wasn't from earth! _She...she doesn't know!_ Exclaims Marco to himself.

Not wanting to look this gift horse in the mouth. Marco quickly asked Star to not tell anyone about it.

"Ohhhh...didn't tell your parents about it, huh?" Guessed Star mischievously. "Uh...sure, let's go with that." Said Marco finally. Star winked. "Say no more...your secrets safe with me." And with that, they got ready for school.

Marco briefly wondered how his schoolmates would react to Star...but such thoughts left his head as he went deathly pale. "Uh, Star! Actually, I know a shorter way to school!" Shouted Marco as he quickly pushed Star away from the sight of a new billboard:

 **REMEMBER! ONLY YOU CAN STOP SHADOWKHAN 'BLESSED'**

 **REMEMBER JAPAN! REPORT ANY SIGHTINGS TO SECTION 13! GET BIG REWARD!**

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	3. Chapter 3

**Star vs the forces naturalism ch. 3**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **AN: the last chapter was helped by 'Neo4812', sorry for forgetting!**

...

It was just a ho-hum day at Echo-creek middle school...children drugged from one classroom or another...dreading social pressure...cliques...homework...and the opposite gender...they were about to get a rude wake up call-

 **STAR THIS ISN'T WHAT I MEANT BY MAKING A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION!**

Screamed Marco as he clung for dear life onto a piece of plywood, as Star surfed a candy/kitten tidal wave that enveloped the school.

Despite Marco's (very legit) concerns...it was hard for a naked magic girl bearing gifts of cat and candy to NOT make a good first impression...everyone immediately loved her...

...

"I WANT HER GONE!"

...Well, except Brittney.

Everyone was in the auditorium where they more or less watched Skeeves get yelled at by a spitefully jealous Brittney.

Skeeves was sweating bullets...Star's family gave him more money in one day then Brittney's family ever had in years!...on the other hand...that was just one payment...he had no idea if they'd give him more...but he knew for certain Brittney's family WOULD...he was stuck between a rock and a hard place...

Marco sighed...he was glad that Star was too busy playing with the lights to attend..this was getting ugly...he looked around...no one else was speaking up...usually it would just be because everyone was too scared of Brittney...but Marco could tell this time it was more to mixed feelings...

When it came to the girl half of the school...it seemed like they thought Star was very likeable...but at the same instance...her nudity made them uncomfortable...the reasons probably varied: Discomfort, social taboos, concern, prudness, jealousy, annoyance at potential perversion on the boys part...They probably didn't agree with Star being kicked out...but they would probably vote for her to be clothed.

As for the boys...well, obviously they mostly wanted her to remain naked...but their was no way for them to voice this without appearing a pervert...and gaining the ire of the female half of the school...so they remained quiet.

So it was very surprising when-

"Britney's right! This is very demeaning to women!" Everyone turned and looked to see a student no one could recognize.

Britney was surprise by this unexpected support, but quickly latched onto it. "Exactly!" She affirms.

"Where dose it all end? Today it's one girl, tomorrow it's all of them! That's very insensitive! Especially to Britney!" Continues the guy.

Britney smirks, "Yeah! That's- she then dose a double take -Wait, what do you mean 'Especially Britney'?" She asks in annoyed suspicion.

The guy suddenly seems reluctantly awkward. "Uh- Wha- No, I didn't- Did I say that?"

"Yes you did! What's that supposed to mean!?" She snarled angrily.

"Look, it's nothing! Okay? I'm sure none of the rumors are true!" He implored hastily.

"WHAT RUMORS!?" She demanded.

The guy was really sweating under her glare. "oh, boy!- No! That's not what I meant! Forget I said anything! It probably wasn't true anyway! Your body is your business! No one else's!"

Britney subconsciously covers herself mortified. "Wha- WHAT ABOUT MY BODY!? WHAT ARE PEOPLE SAYING!" She becomes even more flustered as she now hears the whole auditorium whispering about her...

"NOTHING! FORGET I SAID ANYTHING! THE PEOPLE I HEARD IT FROM WERE CLEARLY CRAZY- Look, were off topic, can we get back to you banning nudity?"

"Yeah, get back to hiding her 'little' secret." Snarked someone else in the auditorium-

"WHO SAID THAT!" Demanded Brittney, she was BEYOND furious now! "You all think I got something to hide!? Well I don't! you all wish you had a bod as hot as mine! And I'm going to prove it!" She screamed, practically foaming at the mouth now.

She turns to the principal. "I DEMAND YOU MAKE NUDITY MANDATORY FOR ALL STUDENTS!" She screamed.

Not wanting to look this gift horse in the mouth- "YOU GOT IT!" Shouted Skeeves quickly, grateful he now didn't have to choose between two huge benefactors.

Everyone was just stunned. "Uh...what just happened?" Asked Jackie in disbelief. Marco didn't answer...he was too busy going deathly pale and subconsciously covering the part of his pants that conceals his tattoo...for now...

"Oh, no." Whimpers Marco to himself...

Brittney had also gone pale. "What did I just do?"

So great was the murmuring and concerns...no one saw the boy who started the fuss...slip out of the room...and smirk. "That went better then I thought." 'He' said out loud as his shape and clothes melted away into shadow...leaving only Janna.

"Sorry Marco...it's time for you to own-up to who you really are...but mostly for me to see you naked." Admitted Janna as the shadow-khan symbol on her breast glow...and she fades away into the shadow...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	4. Chapter 4

****Star vs the forces of naturalism ch. 4****

 **I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!**

...

 **NEWS ON DEMAND!**

 **THE DAY THE JAPAN DIED!**

 **September 13, 2003 will go down in infamy; the death of the posthumously honored J-team...and the return of the Oni king Tarakudo as he swallowed Japan with his army of Shadowkhan.  
**

 **Thankfully, before he was killed Uncle Chan used the last of his strength to cast a mega-spell which-garble- gruble- hubble-blllllllllllaaaah-**

The old-timey newsreel disintegrated on-screen, "Oh, for the love of- CHEAP PIECE OF JUNK!" Shouted Mrs. Skolnick as she banged on the projector.

"AWWWWWW, I wanted to hear about the mega-spell!" Shouted Star. Marco meanwhile let out a sigh of relief, bullet dodged...for now...

"Yeah, whatever. Alright class you might as well dismiss, were close to the end of school anyway. Remember, the school becomes anti-clothes tomorrow! No exceptions...except us teachers of course...sucks to be you! I just shaved my bikini zone and everything." Teased Skolnick in a sensually manner...ever student promptly vomited.

...

"Marco! You know about Earth history, right? Could you tell me what happened with that mega-spell? It sounds interesting!" Asks Star as she and Marco head home. Marco, busy trying to ignore the 'bounce' of Stars bare body...briefly considered lying to her about it...then a thought occurred to him:

"Hey Star...before I answer...your an expert of magic, right?" "Uh, duh!" Shouts Star as she turns a lamppost into a singing Popsicle. "Right...but do you know anything about...Oh, I don't know...Demons? Curses? Devilish bargains? That sort of thing?"

Star sighed, "Unfortunately...yes. My Ex was a demon prince- Don't ask."

Marco nodded, okay...I'll tell you about the mega-spell...but you have to promise you'll keep this secret!"

And now Star was even more interested... Without pause...Marco began his tale.

...

Star laughed as they went into her room, "I can't believe you'd thought I'd freak about this! Get real Marco!" She teased playfully. Marco smirked, "Thanks for this Star...now your SURE that your wand can destroy the shadowkhan mark and free me of my deal?"

Star laughed, "Between the fact that Tom's family gave my family the secret codex of the underworld to get better surplus of our yummy corn AND the fact my wand is one of the seven mystic treasures of the cosmos that is linked to the source of ALL magic...Yeah, I'm pretty confident." She said teasingly.

Marco smiled, "Great! you have no idea what a burden this lifts off my shoulders." "Good to hear! Now strip naked and lie on the floor." Said Star happily. "Say what?" Asked Marco.

After reassurance it was all necessary, he did so. As he lied in a ceremonial chalk drawing on the ground...Star began her chant:

Frange stultorum perdet contractus antequam ingenium meum! ... Et ego sum esurientem. Frange stultorum perdet contractus antequam ingenium meum! ... Et ego sum esurientem.Frange stultorum perdet contractus antequam ingenium meum! ... Et ego sum esurientem.

She shouts as she begins to fires the spell at Marco's rear-

"Hello kids!" Shouted Angie as she barged in naked into the room, "I was wondering if you wanted sweets- She then noticed the scene in front of her...and chuckled. "Nevermind...seems like my boy has all the 'sweet's he need..." She quickly leaves the room.

Marco turns scarlet, "Wha- No Mom! It's not-

 **BOOM!**

Marco screams as his buttocks bursts into flames, and runs around with a chicken without his head as he screams like a little girl. Star blows off her smoking wand, "Nothing to it! I told you I was a pro. Now your-

She trailed off in disbelief...the mark was still there! She could see it through the flames! "Wait, what?! But I read the spell from the codex perfectly! And I used my wand to cast it! And everyone knows the only thing that can beat one of the seven mystic treasures of the cosmos is...another...one...

Star trailed off as she went pale from the horrific realization. "Uh, oh."

 **"Oh, yes."** Whisperd a dark voice as a black portal opend up behind her and dragged her in screaming-

"STAR!" Shouted Marco as he ran to her...but it was too late...

...

Star struggled and wimperd in the darkness between worlds... **"Try to Break one of MY deals will you? We'll...well just see about that! By the power invested in me by the ancient laws of magic! I award a PENALTY!"**

Star screamed as she was grabbed by hundreds of cold, clammy, malicious appendages...that forcibly spread her out...and then the pain began...Stars screams were heard across the cosmos as she was branded with the shadowkahn mark right on her butt...

...

Said scream(among other things) awoke Glossaryck from his book...he groaned, "Unbelievable, you take one day off for 'ME time'...and everything goes to hell in a hand basket...story of my life...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	5. Chapter 5

**Star vs the forces of naturalism ch. 5**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon and BarnesandNoble.**

...

Apparently...the Oni had one of the seven treasures as well...and when you tried to use one treasure to cancel out something caused by a an owner of another(especially a deal)...and if said owner was more powerful and more experienced then you...by ancient laws, they could give them a penalty...among other things...

"This is bad Marco! This is really bad! Me being a 'blessed' is just a placeholder! by ancient law, he could demand my entire kingdom now!" Star whimperd, "Forget st. O's! I'll be lucky if my parents don't have me executed and dance on my grave!"

Marco groans..."I'm sorry Star...I promise...I'll find a way to fix this...right now, we need to make sure no one sees that mark on your...tush." He flusters at that last part.

Star shrugs, "What's the worse that can happen?"

Marco glared, "Star, they give people the death penalty- "WHAT!?" Screamed Star.

Marco sighed, "They don't have a choice...Tarakudo needs nine blessed on the outside to break down the barrier keeping him and his army trapped inside Japan(or the hellhole that USED to be Japan anyway). And Tarakudo can literally hijack their bodies whenever he wants and make them do it...it sucks...but it's better then the alternative..."

As Star began to panic, Marco wondered if the governments of Earth would risk war from another dimension to kill a princess...then decided it be best to not take chances...

He then wonders about why people were so accepting of Star despite the Xenophobia against all things magical that's cropped up in the last several years...Marco could only assume that Star's lovable goofball personality and cute, naked shenanigans made her seem less of a threat? Then flustered when he realized he thought of Star as 'cute'.

"Hey, lover boy! I hate to interrupt your hormones...but I got a solution to Star's problem!" Marco turned around in the direction of the voice...and began to claw out his eyes...an ugly, naked, little, blue man hovered in the air...

After being introduced, Glossaryick showed them a special spell. "This should conceal star's tattoo from most eyes." Marco's eye's widen, "Hey do you think-

"I only had this one spell kid...and I'm bound by both duty and magi to help Star above all else...also...and try not to take this the wrong way...no one cares about what happens to you."

"I DO!" Snaps an angry Star while Marco looks downcast. Glossaryick ignores her and He casts it and the Tattoo on Star becomes invisible.

Still, Marco and Star breathe a sigh of relief...then Star realizes something... "Wait, tomorrow you'll have to be naked! How will-

"Don't worry...I looked over the pamphlet the the principal rushed to have made explaining the rules...I think I've found a loophole...don't worry about me...will YOU be okay?" He asked concerned.

Star takes a deep breath, "Yeah...you know what...this is fine, I just need to figure out a way out of this before my parents find out...can't be that hard...right?"

Glossaryick, made a pained 'maybe, maybe not' gesture with his hand...while doing his best to look optimistic of Star's chances...which failed.

Desperate to get her mind of potential impending doom, Star turns to Marco. "Hey Marco...how...how exactly did you get that tattoo anyway?" She asked in a bedeviled way.

Seeing this, Marco obliges...

"It started a couple months or so back when I went for a swim with my friends at the local pond...

...a month or so back...

"Hey what happened to Alfonzo and Ferguson?" Asked Marco in his black swimtrunks. Janna in her red bikini shrugged, "Who cares...they've kinda been fading into the background lately." Before Marco can respond she pushes him off the rock and into the water.

Despite the situation Jackie in her blue one-piece can't help but giggle, she once more jumped into the water from the tire swing in the old oak tree, it was almost hypnotic how the rickety old thing bent with her as she swung under it...

"Janna, get out of town!" Shouts an annoyed Marco as she struggles to get out of the water. Then he sees Jackie get out of the water...all of it clinging to her skin and suite...he blushes a bit..but quickly composes himself and tries to act aloof as he gets out of the water, "Uh- Hey guys! we...we still got hot dogs? I could go for one!"

The girls just stared stunned and flustered for a second...then Janna laughs. "Oh, you definitely need a weiner!"

Marco frowned, "Wha-

Jackie coughs nervously- trying very hard to not laugh - "Uh, marco...I don't know how to say this..." She nervously points...right to Marco's now exposed privates.

"GAH!" Cried out Marco embarrassed as he covered his now bottomless body...despite knowing it was too late...

Janna just laughed, "Wow, my goldfish is bigger then that!" She teased. A still stunned Jackie almost nodded before stopping herself.

Mortified, Marco ran into the water to find his trunks...

Jackie, feeling bad for him. Ran up to help, she jumped onto the tire swing and swung herself to propel herself toward something in the pond that looked like Marco's trunks-

 **CRACK!**

Jackie never saw it coming, one second she's swinging on the swing, next the hundreds of years old dilapidated oak tree falls over...trapping her underwater...

Jackie was under water! Worse, the tree had her pinned below the water and had knocked what little air she'd had in her! She couldn't breathe! She couldn't- MARCO! He was here! He was kissing her! No, He was giving her air! Glorious air!

Marco gasped, he was alternating from helping Janna push the tree off Jackie and going back under to give Jackie more air! But Marco knew he couldn't do this forever...and the tree was too big! It wouldn't budge!

"Janna! Can't you call someone!?" He shouted. "I already tried! There's no cell reception out here! GAH! We needed more cell towers to fix the areas unreliable wi-fi. But NO! The mayor HAD to spend the entire town budget on that new hospital!" Screamed Janna angrily as she could see her friend struggling to breathe beneath the water.

Marco quickly gave Jackie more air, "We'll what can we do!? The nearest civilization is 5 miles down the road! We can't leave Jackie like this!" He roared in frustration, "Where's a miracle when you need it?" He moans.

Janna thinks on this...and sighs... "I...I think I can give you the next best thing...just...I need you to promise not to tell anyone, alright?"

Marco turned to her confused, "What are you-

And just like that, Janna ripped off her top. Marco's eye's went wide...not because of the eyeful of her chest(although it didn't help)...but what was on her boob...the mark of the shadowkhan 'blessed'...

Janna believe it or not...had found a loop hole to get out of the 'brainwash' clause of the deal(sadly, afterwards Tarkaudo made sure that no one could use it again) and most other negatives of the deal...except as it turns out, the hidden clause that prevents her from interfering in situations that could land the oni a new 'blessed'...which unfortunately, included this current situation.

Tarakudo himself appeared...and offered Marco the deal. Janna tried to bargain, even went as far as to revoke her current favorable contract and replace it with something more favorable to the Oni.

Unfortunately, it turns out that once a deal is struck...it can't be revoked until complete...and the loophole Janna had invoked- among other things -had made that impossible.

so with little choice...to save his crush...Marco took the deal...

...

Star wiped her face off tears and blew her nose, "That...that was beautiful..." A thought occurred to her, "Wait, what happens to Jackie?"

Marco sighed, "I...I've kinda been avoiding each her- "WHAT!?" Screamed Star. "It's for the best! Staying away from me keeps her from whatever 'game' the Oni is playing...besides, if word got out that she was FRIENDS with a 'blessed'...people have been LYNCHED by angry mobs for less then that!" He shouted!

Star shook her head, "That's dumb! Y'know what! I'm helping you hook up with her!"

"What?!" Demanded Marco in disbelief.

Star ignored him, "Seeing how she'll be naked tomorrow, the first thing we need to do is cure your shyness- she uses her wand to throw all of marco's clothes out the window.

"Hey!" Shouts Marco, he runs to the window and tries to catch them, but their already swept away by the wind.

Marco distracted gives Star just the opportunity she needs to bind him to his bed and snuggle up next to him, "Get used to me, and Jackie will be a piece of cake!"

Marco just gaped at her in mortified disbelief, "Star, get out of town!...and my bed!"

But Star was already fast asleep...Marco groans in defeat...

And so Marco had a long night ahead of him...but it was nothing compared to what tomorrow will bring...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	6. Chapter 6

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

 **Star vs the forces of naturalism ch. 6**

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...

Marco was not having the best morning...first his parents playfully teased him for sleeping nude with star...then having to walk to school naked(he was the only one since you didn't have to get naked until you were on school property, which everyone else was taking advantage of) since Star got ride of all his clothes last night...and his parents refused to buy more lest they 'deny' him a 'new experience'.

"Hey kid, forget something!?"

"put some clothes on weirdo!"

"Huba-Huba!"

"Their are children here sicko!"

Marco blushed...still...it wasn't too bad...Star was there to scare off the worst of them...and after reading the 'new rules' pamphlets, he realized he could wear a couple fanny packs to cover his Oni tattoo and groin as long as he was using them to also carry school supplies.

Star blasted away yet another heckler annoyed, she just didn't understand this whole 'prude' culture earth had going on...well, perhaps it would get better now that the school was going nudist...

And then she saw something...or rather SOMEONE. "Hey Marco! Think fast!" Marco's eyes widened as Star zaps him...

...

Meanwhile, Britney's limo had just pulled up to the school, everyone else- in the middle of awkwardly getting undressed -turned to look, what with all the rumors started yesterday...which apparently were all false!

Indeed, Britney leaped out of the limo. Naked and unashamed, and it was easy to see why! She was just drop-dead sexy! Her large bust, her perky, luscious rear, her smooth hairless physique, her everything!

And like that, the status quo had returned and Brittney was queen Bee once more...so naturally...

"Hey fatty! Try overeating a salad!"

"Hey saggy! tape those sad puppies or something!"

"Yeesh, shave that bush already! No one want's to see how your carpet DOESN'T match the drapes, weirdo!"

...yeah...

...

Jackie Lynn Thomas watched Brittney's onslaught from behind a bush...she REALLY didn't want to do this...who would? But apparently it was either this or expulsion...Still...Jackie was scared...and-

 **ZAP!**

 **GAH!**

Jackie turned around just in time to see the boy who saved her life...at the cost of his freedom, literally appear before her in a poof of smoke...almost naked.

Jackie flustered but quickly checked to see if he was okay, seeing his old crush Marco quickly hopped up embarrassed. "Oh! Hey Jackie! Long see-no time! I mean-

Jackie giggled, not just because of Marco's cute dorkiness...but also him jumping up had caused his fanny pack to slip down a bit...revealing his ridiculously small and hairless wiener.

Jackie knew it was mean and unfair to a great guy like Marco...but it was just so cute and hilarious...and as a side-benefit, all her anxiety of being seen naked -well most of it -had left! It was hard to feel bad for one's body...when a worse example showed up...AGAIN, she realized how hurtful and unfair these thoughts were to Marco and vowed to make up for it.

Firstly, "Uh...Marco?" She points to his 'exhibition' flustered. "GAH! COME ON!" Shouts an annoyed Marco as he readjusts his fanny pack. He then tries to compose himself awkwardly. "Uh...Jackie...on the off chance I saw you today...here!" He said quickly as he gave her some spare fanny packs to cover herself with.

Jackie smiled and thanked Marco...Marco quickly looked away as she undressed in the bush and slipped the various fanny packs on to cover her chest, rear and front.

"How do I look?" she asked flustered, this was so weird...she'd never been this naked before, even wearing bikini's were too much for her...still...the breeze felt nice...she wondered if skateboardi-

"You look...amazing." This compliment popped Jackie out of her thoughts as a flustered Marco tried not to stare..and make sure his fanny pack was covering his 'excitement'.

Jackie giggled at the sight of him doing that...however...the sight of the fanny pack on his rear...reminded her what was BENEATH it.

She sighed, "Marco...I get why your avoiding me...but it's time we talk about what happened at the pond...and what you did for me-

Marco blanched! Then chuckled nervously, "Wha- what are you talking about Jackie? Nothing happened aside from that tree giving you a bump on the-

"Janna told me what REALLY happened."

Marco gaped, then snarled, "JANA!" Seriously, what was wrong with that girl?

This was bad...he was practically naked...in front of his super cute crush who was also almost completely naked...who was demanding answers for a very sensitive subject...he'd never felt more exposed and vulnerable-

 **RING!**

Marco smirked, _"Saved by the bell-_

"Oh, no you don't!" Both teens were surprised to have Star pops up between them-

 **ZAP!**

And zap them! "There! After school, no matter where Marco is, he'll teleport to where you are! Is six 'O' clock good for you Jackie?"

Jackie, feeling awkward before the naked, magical princess...simply nodded flustered.

Marco just groaned...but before he can protest, a teacher calls a final warning to all kids not in the school. And an excited Star takes this as an invitation to hurry the both of them to school to start their first day being nudist students before either can protest.

...

Meanwhile, Britney was continuing her tirade. "yeesh, who let a pre-schooler in here? Oh, sorry. That's just Sabrina." She mocked as Sabrina covered her chest embarrassed.

While Britney was putting the 'ITCH' in Witch-

"Star! quit pushing me!" Shouts Marco as they go through the entrance, Marco finally pushes her away...too hard! he trips! Panicked, Marco grabs something to steady himself-

 **RIP!**

Whatever he grabbed, wasn't sturdy enough and immediately ripped and Marco fell flat on his face. He groaned he rose to his feet as everyone gasped. "What? What happened? I- He looks at what he grabbed...and saw a nipple?

"EH?" Asks Marco out loud...suddenly getting a VERY bad feeling. He saw that in his hand was a flesh-colored piece of latex...Marco followed the torn up trail...and saw it lead to-

"Britney?!" Marco exclaimed.

Indeed, it was Britney...but not as every one knew her. Turns out she'd been wearing a latex whole-body nude suit...and since it had been hot and constrained she'd worn nothing underneath it...and now...everyone knew...the rumors hadn't been true...if anything the rumors had been too kind!

Her chest was flat as a board, her rear was scrawny and saggy, turns out she'd been wearing a corset all these years to hide the fact she was grossly overweight, and she had the grossest body hair that anyone had ever seen...ALL over her.

for awhile everyone was too stunned to say anything...then-

"Look out! It's bigfoot!"

"Yikes, she's more boy then girl isn't she!?"

"Yeah, a real UGLY boy."

The mocking laughter and pictures brought Britney to tears...then RAGE!

"YOU!" She snapped at Marco as he's starting to stand up, using the locker behind him to steady himself. Marco gulps, he REALLY wished he had more clothes on, being almost naked in front of an angry female was somehow worse then just regular naked or regular angry female.

Britney walked over and ripped off the fanny pack covering his groin, "HEY!" Shouted Marco mortified, yet relieved that between his rear fanny pack and him pressing it against the locker behind him his tattoo was still concealed.

Sadly, that didn't change the fact that his 'shortcoming' could now be seen by all- Everyone laughed.

"Ha! Feeling 'cold' Safety kid?"

"Sheesh! I couldn't pick my teeth with that!"

"My dog's is bigger then that!"

"My pinkie toe is bigger then that!"

"My newborn brother is bigger then that!"

"This pine needle is bigger then that!"

"I feel sorry for any girl he ends up with!"

"HA! Like any girl will want him now that this video has gone viral!"

Britney smirked in triumph as the tables turned...and Marco sobbed...seriously considering exposing his tattoo so the ensuing mob would put him out of his misery.

"HEY!" Suddenly he found himself being blocked by both Star and Jackie, "Shame on all of you! You didn't like it when Britney was taunting you! Now you go around taunting poor Marco?!"

"Yeah, not cool guys!" Snapped Star, "Were all going to be naked together for awhile now! Is this really how you want to be? Sniping and snapping at each others 'shortcomings' just to get a cheap laugh? Wouldn't you rather be a community? I can tell your all feeling uncomfortable now, but you don't have to go through it alone! Were all in this together!"

The student body contemplated this...

"Besides Marco has always been there for us! ...True, it was as an 'overzealous safety kid'-

"HEY!" Shouted Marco annoyed.

-But the point is he was trying to keep us safe and happy! He's that nice of a guy!"

There was some nods among them, "Their right...we shouldn't make fun of people who don't deserve it..."

Star smiled.

"...Let's just stick to making fun of Britney and others like her that DO deserve it!"

Star's face fell, "Wait, what? No, that's not-

"Tear her to shreds!" Interrupted Jackie with a smirk.

And thus, before Star could do anything. They were treated to the sight of a sobbing Britney chased away by a mob of taunters.

Star frowned, "That's not really what I had in mind-

Jackie shrugged, "Eh, I can't find myself to broken up over it...

Marco coughs, they turn to him as he quickly covers up his crotch again. "Uh...thanks guys...I appreciate it." He then turns to Jackie...and sighs. "If you...if you want to talk about...'that'...I'm free at lunch."

Jackie smiled and thanked him while Star squealed...

...

Britney sobbed, she'd finally lost the mob..by hiding in a dumpster, _"Ruined...I'm ruined!" S_ he plucked a banana peel off her now grimey face. Her reputation was now in tatters, she'd be lucky to sit at the outcast table after this!

She'd been too lazy- even during cheerleading practice she made everyone do the work for her - and glutenous to exercise, and razors to her privates made her uncomfortable, so she never shaved 'there'. That plus her wracking up bad karma, she had no one to blame but herself...so naturally she blamed everyone BUT herself.

"Stupid Diaz, he ruined everything! I'll make him pay!"

"Perhaps I can be of assistance?" Britney turned around and almost wet herself as HE appeared from the shadows, even to a self-centered narcissist like her- she'd have to have been blind and death not to know who was now before her in spiritual form...

"Tarakudo..."

...

"So you figured things out?" Asked Star as she and Marco walked home from school. Marco nodded, "Yep...were hanging out as friends again- she wouldn't take no for an answer!...as for anything MORE- He sighed -We both agreed that things were too hectic right now to even CONSIDER a relationship." He admitted sadly.

Star frowned, but reluctantly agreed. "That's all right! We'll still find you someone!" Marco gave her a weird look, "Star weren't you listening? I said it be best for me not to-

"Huh, why do I feel like I'm forgetting something?" Interrupted Star-

 **ZAP!**

And like that, Marco was gone...while her watch beeped '6 'o' clock. "Ohhh...right...that."

...

And thus Marco found himself teleported to Jackie's location...which was too bad considering she was having dinner with her parents...and Stars aim caused him to fall onto the table...and his fanny packs were ripped off by a low hanging chandelier..

"I hate my life. "Groaned Marco is the yelling began...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


End file.
